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Netflix's The Life List: An Insult to The Grieving
- Yadav B V
- 7 hours ago
- 2 min read
TMJ Rating: -🍿/ 5
A movie meant for trust-fund babies or, more recently, nepo babies, Netflix's The Life List is basically human excrement served up in a nice Waffle cone apparently centered around the theme of coping with the loss of a loved one.
The lead character has lost her mother, yet is as free as a bird throughout her "soulful" life-goal journey, shedding fewer tears than when you are on the loo after eating too much cheese and lack of fiber.
It would make sense that her last movie would make just as much sense, with her starring as Taron Egerton's girlfriend in the Netflix Movie Carry-On with little to no lines in a flawed plot and the lead failing to subdue the lamest antagonist onscreen.
The Plot of The Life List
Alex, who has just lost her mother to cancer, must cross off tasks on an insipid childhood list she had penned down when she was 13 to "unlock" her inheritance in her family's cosmetics company.
This is a condition stipulated by her mother, Elizabeth Rose, so that her wonderful daughter can reach her absolute and full potential as a beautifully confused millennial as she struggles through her impossibly hard life, deciding which crisis to honor and at what time according to the mood that strikes her.
Unfortunately, she does not find any time to meaningfully mourn the loss of her mother or reflect on the time she spent with her when she was alive. But she does get into a meaningful fling with the executor of her mother's will, Brad, played by Kyle Allen.
In the end, Connie Britton puts Disney to shame while helping her daughter identify true love by saying 1. she must fully open her heart to them; they must 2. be kind and 3. inspire her to be her best self, and 4. she could imagine having his kids.
This terrible movie is probably a horrendous version of P.S.: I Love You starring Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank that should be burnt right out of the movie archives lest it become a crime to possess such disrespectful cinema.
The Cast
Sofia Carson as Alex, the trust fund brat, Connie Britton as Elizabeth, the brat's doting mother who dies of cancer, and Jordi Mollà as Johnny Alvarez, the biological father of Alex, are completely wasted in this pointless story, flushing the audience's time and production funds down the loo.
The rest of the cast, you most probably wouldn't bother about considering you wouldn't have seen them in anything awesome, and to reiterate, nothing can save this trainwreck of a movie which has no point, and offends anyone who has recently lost someone close to them.
Should You Watch It? Hell No!
This movie should be banned not for graphic material but for being utterly pointless and vain, without even a hint of a message and zero entertainment. It can however, be a case study in how not to make a movie for future movie makers, especially around the loss of a loved one.
